The Inconvenience of the Heart; and, FourSquare Humility

Ever since the beginning of the journey of the coronavirus pandemic, opinion columnist Nicholas Kristof has been using the word “humility” as part of his recommendations for how to proceed. He did it again yesterday morning. His headline “Let’s Remember That the Coronavirus Is Still a Mystery” had a subtitle, “Respond to it with humility, and apprehension, too.”

“The odd thing about reporting on the coronavirus is that the nonexperts are supremely confident in their predictions, while epidemiologists keep telling me that they don’t really know much at all.” He praises the humility evidenced by epidemiologists and laments more humility in our public discourse.

What a relief that would be, wouldn’t it?

But humility isn’t exactly at the top of the list of Character Traits We Think Worth Cultivating, is it? At least not in the West. In fact, I would venture to say that genuine humility is in the reject pile. Humility looks to a lot of us like weakness.

It’s not.

I’ve spent a lot of my professional life explaining the structure of human beings to … well, um, human beings. This is not something we learn. I believe we are fourfold beings: body, heart, mind, spirit. The four correspond to the four elements, in order: earth, water, air, fire.

Think about it for a second, and I think you’ll agree.

Bodies move at the speed of earth.
Hearts, also known as feelings and emotions, move at the speed of water.
Minds move at the speed of air.
Spirits move at the speed of fire, also known as light.

Today I’m the most interested in the heart. A lot of us consider the heart an inconvenience. We like, instead, to decide with the mind, act with the body, and skip the other two aspects entirely. At the same time, we have all been advised to “listen to your heart,” and, sadly, a lot of us don’t know how.

Perhaps it’s because we never learned? Perhaps it’s because listening to your heart takes time? Perhaps it’s because it takes silence? Or stillness? It intrigued me to discover when I repaired to the OED that the etymological antecedents of the word started out as a neuter noun and over time became a feminine noun. Maybe that’s why we perceive those who function from their hearts as weak? How sad.

Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my heroines. She wrote, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway.” In this political and media climate, you betcha.

President Obama speaking virtually to virtual graduates said, essentially, the same. Do three things. “Build community. Do what is right. Be a leader.”

Accustomed to letting our minds lead in almost every case, a lot of us are stumped. Not only do we not have all the information, but the people who allegedly should don’t either. We aren’t receiving accurate recommendations for reopening, healthy or not, because the powers that be don’t have the accurate information either.

It’s usually in situations like the one we’re all in with the coronavirus that someone comes up with the always-brilliant idea to listen to your heart. Most of us fumble this at best.

One of the reasons I think we like to leave heart wisdom to last is that it often doesn’t recommend what our minds are intent upon choosing.

Your mind may have the me, Me, ME chorus down cold, but if you’re really in touch with the wisdom of your heart, you won’t be able to follow the MeMeMe meme. Your heart, quite literally, wouldn’t allow it.

Children by reputation have easy access to their hearts. Have you ever given a little child a forbidden treat and almost immediately had them turn around to offer you some? Children, less influenced by externals, are true to their hearts. They naturally follow Mr. Obama’s suggestion. Build community. The easiest way to do that is to share.

Despite the media that is available 24/7 to a lot of us, I’m not seeing a whole lot of sharing in our world right now. Altruism, yes. Sacrifice, yes. But not a lot of genuine sharing. There’s a certain pride in our first responders that is at this very moment being ravaged by Covid-19.

Nurses, doctors, med techs, CNAs, even medical receptionists are the holders of deeply aching hearts. They cannot maintain their stoic service stance amidst the mountain of grief, loss, and death. Nor should they.

Yesterday’s Mary Engelbreit calendar wore a beautiful illustration of a Tudor house. The caption was by William Shakespeare. “People usually are the happiest at home.” The heart is the emotional home of a human being. Even if you do your damnedest to avoid it, your heart will pull you up short every time you use your mind to override it.

Heart, inconvenient or not, is much closer to who you really are. Mind is meant to be its willing servant, not its leader. We’ve flipped things out of order and I believe we know it. We know without having to say it that the heart holds wisdom that the mind knows nothing of.

In one of several articles on a potential vaccine — the only way we will all be safe on the planet — I read these words, “A coronavirus vaccine doesn’t yet exist, but already there are questions about who will be able to afford it.”

Questions like this one are mind-related, not heart-related. Not really. Were you to hold still long enough for the quiet voice of the heart to be heard, you’d know the answer to who will be able to afford it is — because it has to be — everyone.

Only the mind could even ask this. We all know that until we’re all safe, none of us really is.

“At the World Health Assembly meeting this week, a proposal from the European Union was adopted recommending a voluntary patent pool, which would put pressure on companies to give up their monopolies on vaccines they’ve developed.”

This is the same World Health Assembly for which the United States declined to show up. The Vaccinator-in-Chief [eye roll] is certain that America will develop a vaccine for Americans. At the same time, he’s doing what he can not only to close, but to seal, the borders of our country. This is the same country that is a proud melting pot of immigrants from all over the world.

“Oxfam, an international charity, has published an open letter from 140 world leaders and experts calling for a ‘people’s vaccine,’ which would be ‘made available for all people, in all countries, free of charge.’”

Just to be crystal clear, that would be a vaccine for people, all people, who are subject to a vulnerability to the disease caused by the coronavirus. “These vaccines have to be a public good,” said Helen Clark, a former prime minister of New Zealand, who signed the letter. “We’re not safe till everyone is safe.”

And there, Beloved, in one crystalline sentence is the wisdom of the heart, inconvenient though it may be, writ loud and clear. We’re not safe till everyone is safe.

Mike Dooley writes Notes from the Universe and sends them all over the world five days a week. They embody heart wisdom. Here’s one I found clearing out a file the other day.

“Primitive societies live by the Rule of Might, and the strong prevail.” Or in our case, the loud.

“Advanced societies live by the Rule of Law, and the privileged prevail.” And in our case, this is right where we are.

“Enlightened societies live by the Rule of Love, and everyone is lifted higher.” Recognize the heart? Of course you do.

Jancee Dunn wrote an article about a blog post written by a man in 2016 after his painful divorce. It was called “The Man Who Coaches Husbands on How to Avoid Divorce.” As part of her research, she asked her husband Tom if he’d be willing to have a session with Matthew Fray. He was game.

“He gently suggested that Tom first practice not judging my requests. ‘Instead of listening to their partner, digesting the information and caring about why they feel bad, I’ve found that guys invest their energy in one of three ways,’ Fray said. ‘They dispute the facts of the story their partner just told; agree with the facts, but believe their partner is overreacting; or defend their actions by explaining why they did it. In all three cases, his partner’s feelings are invalid.’”

Let’s shift the context just a little, shall we, Beloved? This isn’t just advice for husbands or wives. It’s for humans whose Minds and Hearts are often at odds with one another. Consider this rewrite.

The Voice of Experience suggested that Mind first practice not judging Heart’s requests. ‘Instead of listening to their Hearts, digesting the information and caring about why their Hearts feel bad, I’ve found that Minds invest their energy in one of three ways. Minds dispute the facts of the story their Heart just told; agree with their Hearts, but believe their Heart is overreacting; or defend their Minds by explaining why they did it. In all three cases, their Heart’s feelings are invalid.’”

It can be both an external and an internal process, and sometimes, God help us all, it’s both at the same time. Hearts deserve the same kind of attention and care that Minds do.

Yesterday was World Bee Day. Bees are one of a myriad diversity of humble pollinators that make sure things grow here on planet Earth. They do their jobs faithfully and well in endless biological coordination and cooperation. The motto of the day is Bee Engaged!

The same is a necessity, Beloved, for hearts and minds which also do their jobs faithfully and well within each human being. Part of the humility required to be an effective human being is to give equal care, attention, and time to all of you, body, heart, mind, and spirit.

And once we learn to care for and attend to our inner structures, that’s how we’ll remember to care for one another as well. Be four-square engaged.

Dr. Susan Corso is a metaphysician and medical intuitive with a private counseling practice for more than 35 years. She has written too many books to list here. Her website is www.susancorso.com

© Dr. Susan Corso 2020 All rights reserved.